Threesomes I would like to be a part of…

The other night, I was watching “Stripes” on the AMC. I have seen this movie several times, and as I was watching Bill Murray and Harold Ramis get ready to jump into action with the hot MPs, I was thinking, “Wow, those two together are like the perfect man—Ramis is all nerdy and smart but still cute, and Murray is the impish little scamp who will pick your pocket, then buy you flowers.”

It got me thinking about threesomes. Here are a few combinations that I would like to participate in:

  • Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem are together for reals, but they are both crazy hot, especially in that Woody Allen jerkoff film, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona.” I would like to jump into that action per Scarlett Johansson’s place—she was just really a cum-rag in that movie anyway.
  • Gina Gershon and anybody else.
  • Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt—I think this would actually be pretty mediocre, but selling the hidden camera footage and the pics alone would buy me enough whiskey, baked Cheetos and real estate for the rest of my days.
  • Drew Barrymore and her next boyfriend. I’m not fucking that Apple dude. He sucks, so Ms. Barrymore? Pony up and get a better boyfriend.
  • Bjork and Beck…Things would get soooo freak-ay!
  • Barack and Michelle. Come on, like you never thought of it. I think it’s really awesome that, maybe for the first time in history, we actually have a First Couple we’d want to bang!
  • George Clooney and a mirror. I bet he makes really great poses to himself when he’s doing the deeds.
  • Robert Pattinson and Zac Effron. I like cradle-robbing—and I think Pattinson is just hot enough to convince Effron to do a chick.
  • Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams because they are so adorable!
  • I’m a Cubs fan, and I have to say, that during their entire dismal season, I imagined myself in a Mike Fontenot/Ryan Theriot sandwich. Not only can I not pronounce their last names–which is key to any good threeway–but it’s not like they’re busy or anything right now. Call me!
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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Threesomes I would like to be a part of…

  1. Jermaine and Brett from Flight of the Conchords… speaking of getting Freak-ay! I sort of just want to bang Jermaine (he’s so sexy ugly), the other guy can just come along too.

    Oh, and Kate Winslet and anyone. Even her mediocre looking director of a husband.

  2. auntie jen

    tom and katie, to see which one of them breaks in half first.

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